10 Assumptions Blown Out of the Water During My First Year of Motherhood

Here are some of the Assumptions I had before becoming a Mother....

1.      I would be sore for 6 weeks or so. I knew I was going to be sore. I knew I would bleed. But, I thought after about 6 weeks or so and then I would be feeling mostly better. Nope, my stitches hurt for 3 months. It was difficult to walk or sit. I carried a donut pillow around for ages. Every time I squatted for months afterwards, I ached. Not expecting that one.

2.      I probably would not pump. I didn’t even think I would end up buying a pump. But, with my daughter in the NICU for the first 16 days of her life, the one thing I could do for her was pump my milk. So, I started and haven’t stopped. Pumping means I’ve been able to leave her in the safe hands of her grand-parents countless times. Not expecting that one.

3.      I was NOT going to give my child a pacifier. Like maybe never. Things changed when I was wheeled in the NICU, when she was 6 hours old and caught the nurse about to give her a pacifier. I was not happy. But, the nurse explained that my baby was trying to get pull all her tubes out. Although, she was sedated, she was still uncomfortable and a pacifier was necessary. So, I caved. Not expecting that one.

4.      I have worked with children since I was 19 years old. I’m a teacher for Christsake….I have a degree in patience. One child can’t test your patience that much, can she? The answer is “yes.” I thought I would have a leg-up. Nope. Not expecting that one.

5.      I would LOVE breast-feeding. Don’t get me wrong, I am so very happy that I’ve been able to breast-feed my child for a year (and still going). I just thought it would be a mystical, beautiful bonding experience. There are definitely such moments. But, I have a VERY active child who LOVES to do yoga and gymnastics while nursing. Ummm....not so fun for Mama. She's also easily distracted and nibbles. This translates to nursing frequently....also not so fun for Mama. Not expecting that one.

6.       Cloth Diapers will only be one extra load of laundry a week. Okay, maybe if you have a TON of diapers. But, my husband has not been gung-ho about the cloth diaper thing, so I haven’t been able to buy many diapers. We switched to pocket diapers at 6 months. Right now, we have 9 diapers. That means I’m washing diapers about 4 times a week. Not expecting that one.

7.      I could not survive on being woken up 5-7 times a night for 9 months. Not fun this one. I've only survived by napping with her once a day and by spending 5-6 nights a month at my parents' house. She sleeps in their room and I get some beautifully, uninterrupted sleep. The rest of my days, I soldier through....usually sore, usually cranky in the mornings. But, I'm still going. Not expecting that one.

8.      No plastic crap would be entering my house. I have not bought any plastic crap for my child. But, other (well-meaning) people have and so we do have some loud, plastic toys at our house. My daughter always seems to find where I hide them.  Many of them have found a new home at Dada and Dadi's house (a win-win situation for everyone). She relishes every chance she gets to play with them. Not expecting that one.

9.      My child would not glimpse a television until she was at least 2 years old. Okay, she does not watch T.V. at our house. But, we lived with my in-laws for the first 5 months of her life and they watch a lot of T.V.. I had to accept the fact that she would occasionally be enraptured by various commercials on the Indian channels. Dada tried to get her into watching Nick Jr. (thankfully, she resisted). I just had to bite my tongue. Not expecting that one.

10.   I would love being a stay-at-home mother. This is what I always wanted (at least staying at home for the early years). I knew it was going to rough. And I was right. I just didn't think it was going to be such a struggle. Doing laundry at midnight is not fun. Trying to make conversation at the play-ground is hard. Attempting to do dishes with a fussy toddler attached to your leg is impossible. There are many days, I just want to drop her off at the nearest day-care and not come back for a LONG, LONG time. Not expecting that one. Then, I see this smile....

and listen to her laugh. And, I change my mind (about the dropping her off thing).

There... 10 Assumptions...all gone since this Little Girl entered my life and made me a Mama!